Thursday, May 3, 2012

In front of yesterday

Today I woke up feeling emotions of frustration and anger from thoughts of moments that I did not like and wished had never happened as well as moments that I did like but yet still wished had never happened. Just when I was on the brink of being consumed and settled into the whirlwind of my emotions, something very simple yet profound became very clear to me......so clear it made me smile. It dawned on me that I was standing in front of yesterday. Think about it. Anything that you stand in front of is behind you, and the only way you will ever be able to see it is if you turn around. Not only was yesterday behind me, but even now, seconds are behind me, minutes are behind me, hours are behind me. Days are behind me, weeks are behind me, months are behind me. Years are behind me, decades are behind me. I'm standing in front of yesterday, in front of my past and I don't have to turn around. A lot of times we allow our soul to lead us to a place of remembrance, and so we become consumed by tears we have already cried, pain we've already felt, angered we've already expressed, rejection we've already experienced. Gripped by the torment of what was and what happened, we fail to realize that the moment has passed and no longer exists. You're in front of it! All that has happened to me is behind me. I don't care if it happened a second ago. That second is gone and now I have the choice to either turn around or look ahead. This morning I decided to look ahead. Dreams made manifest are ahead of me, success is ahead of me, challenges are ahead of me. TRUE love is ahead of me and enemies are ahead of me. Laughter is ahead of me, smiles are ahead of me and tears are ahead of me. New friendships are ahead of me and the renewal of old friendships are ahead of me. Joy is ahead of me and pain is ahead of me. I embrace it all for all that I encounter strengthens me, matures me, changes me, challenges me. All I experience will reveal a side of Grace that I've never seen before. Life's moments expose who I am, where I am strong, where I am weak. So yes, I embrace it all. Sometimes I'll remember to let go of yesterday's residue whether good or bad to experience the fullness of a fresh moment, a new time. Other times I will fail to do so. When I fail, rest assure I will be reminded of where I stand. I'll begin to see clearly. This morning, just when I was on the brink of being consumed and settled into the whirlwind of my emotions, something very simple yet profound became very clear to me: I wasn't strong enough in moments all the time, but today I am strong enough to stand in front of yesterday.


j.h.

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